In today’s hyper-connected world, it often feels like there is no right way to exist online. Post about a tragedy or political issue and you risk being accused of virtue signaling. Stay silent and you risk being accused of indifference. Either way, someone is upset. The cycle of outrage keeps turning, and many of us feel trapped in a “mad if you do, mad if you don’t” dynamic.

Recently, a doctor asked me a simple question: “What do you think motivates people the most?” I answered without hesitation: authenticity. For me, it is the foundation of connection and trust. She paused, then offered a different perspective. “That’s what you value,” she said. “But the number one motivator for most people is fear.”

Her observation has stayed with me. When I look at the current climate online, fear is everywhere. Fear of being judged. Fear of being canceled. Fear of being on the wrong side of history. Fear of silence. Fear of speaking. Much of what we see on our feeds is less about thoughtful engagement and more about people posting out of fear rather than intention.

🌾 The Illusion of Performed Care

Social media platforms are built to amplify the loudest reactions, not the most thoughtful ones. This creates the illusion that caring must be performed publicly in order to be real. But the truth is different. Care can live in private conversations, in art that uplifts or challenges, in voting booths, in volunteer hours, in donations made quietly, or in the simple act of being kind when it would be easier not to be.

The internet does not get to dictate the legitimacy of our values.

🌙 The Challenge of Nuance

The reality is that the issues we face are complex and deeply nuanced, yet online that nuance often gets erased. Everything is reduced to sides and slogans. If you hesitate or take time to process, it can be seen as indifference. If you speak with complexity, it can be seen as betrayal.

There is also a pressure to mirror the outrage of others. If you are not posting about a particular crisis, some may assume you do not care. But care is not always public. For many people, it is not about apathy, but capacity. Life is already full of its own challenges: working long hours, managing finances, caring for family, just trying to stay afloat.

The truth is that the world is carrying many heartbreaks at once. Wars, inequality, displacement, poverty, political division. Each is worthy of attention. But no one person can carry all of it, all the time. And expecting people to live in a constant state of outrage is not sustainable.

🌵 Choosing Authenticity Over Fear

Fear is reactive. It pushes us to speak quickly, often before we have processed our own feelings. Authenticity is intentional. It allows for pause. It gives us permission to decide if, when, and how we want to contribute. Sometimes that means speaking up. Sometimes it means staying silent. Both can be powerful choices when they come from alignment rather than panic.

🌞 Beyond the Algorithm

The outrage machine thrives on engagement. It rewards us for being baited into conflict. Refusing to participate can feel countercultural, even radical. But there is strength in choosing not to perform for the algorithm.

We are not obligated to prove our values online. What ultimately defines us is not the posts we make but the lives we lead beyond the feed.

With calm in the chaos,
Angelic
Welcome Home. 🌵✨